Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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