you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
