Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
