I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
