Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
