Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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