these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
