He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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