At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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