Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
