ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
