I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
