are you still at the devil's house?
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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