so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
