1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
