Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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