Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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