I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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