I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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