We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
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my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
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last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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