Just cropdusted the office
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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