I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
