honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
