how can u be prego again
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
