my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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