Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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