Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize