make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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