Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
