But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize