So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
