Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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