Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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