is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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