I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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