And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
