So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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