If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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