i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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