Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Is Oprah even human
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
