Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize