I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
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she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
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Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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