Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
