Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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