Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
false alarm, still single
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
