I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
