I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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