I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
