yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
