I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
