In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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