This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
