Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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