are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
