He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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