I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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