how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
