This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
