it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
