What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
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I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
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Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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