my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize