We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
